Frequently Asked Questions
If mediation doesn’t work, can one of us hire you as a Collaborative attorney?
No, never. I offer different options, but I will not ever switch roles once hired. This means that you can trust that I will only be your advocate if I represent you in the Collaborative process. I will only be your neutral if I act as your mediator. Similarly, I won’t ever represent your ex if I’ve represented you at any point in time, or have worked as your mediator. I will refer you to other professionals if needed.
Is mediation or Collaborative cheaper?
That depends. Since I (and most family law professionals) charge hourly, it depends on your circumstances and the level of support everyone involved needs to get through your divorce or custody process. Either one of the options can be cheaper if it is right-sized for your situation.
Mediation might be your best bet if you feel like each person can manage their emotions well and can work effectively with your finances in a meeting. In the mediation process, you should have independent legal advice, but this can mean brief consults or a few phone calls rather than each paying an attorney to handle every step of the process.
On the other hand, the Collaborative process can be more cost effective if each person having an advocate present from the beginning can help to prevent misunderstandings and provide clear, real time answers.
One way to minimize costs is to each have Collaborative attorneys to consult on your mediation, so a mediator can do as much as possible, but then have Collaborative attorneys join the meeting should the need arise without disrupting the mediation process.
We don’t want to get lawyers involved in our divorce/custody/support issue.
The most expensive and heartbreaking family law litigation scenario often happens few years after a DIY divorce. It goes like this: Spouses are amicable and check the boxes together or do an online divorce form. They do not get advice about what kind of things can happen to the family dynamic or financial circumstances, so their judgment does not discuss or is ambiguous on a future (often foreseeable) issue. Since there is an expectation that the other person was in agreement, trust can be broken and it’s much harder to get back to talking it out.
Having a consult with a lawyer who understands your goals and is available to answer questions and review your final documents could save you time, money, energy, and sanity down line. Importantly, reduced conflict between co-parents results in measurably better outcomes for kids. The way that you resolve a divorce, custody or support issue has a long term impact on you, your kids, and your finances.